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With Summer getting into full swing and this being a platform of all things novelty, I thought it high time to take a look at the world of pool floats! In my other life as a DJ, I usually grab an armload of wacky pool floats from the store 5 Below before I embark on a pool party event. But I wanted to see what else might be out there, so I scoured the interwebs and came up with my own list of the wackiest and most fun-tastic inflatable pool toys I could find.
I hope to make this an annual installment of the Dandy Fun House, mainly because coming up with ideas is hard and this is an easy piece of content to create. Hey, at least I’m honest!
So without further adieu… Let’s dive right in, make a splash, get wet and wild and lots of other bad cliches! Here’s The DANDY FUN HOUSE TOP TEN COUNTDOWN OF THE BEST POOL INFLATABLES FOR SUMMER 2021!
#10 – INFLATABLE LIPS!
Tell the world to kiss it! You’re going to the pool! While I almost glossed over this one, I ultimately couldn’t help but smack it right here at number ten in the countdown. Because… who doesn’t want to lay one on a giant pair of wet lips!? These babies are both funky and awesome and can be found on Alibaba.com and they’re made by the Huizhou Fengyun plastic products Co., Ltd who specialize in all things inflatable pool products where their motto is “We warmly welcome friends at home and abroad to exchange and cooperate, and create brilliance hand in hand!”
#9 – THE FLIP FLOP
…or more precisely – The Blue Wave Tropical Flip Flop 71 inch Inflatable Pool Float! (huff… puff…) Sure to be the envy of Old Mother Hubbards everywhere or just if you’ve been told that you look like a giant foot that needs to be soaked, you can kick off your shoes and flip flop it old school while you sail along with a “thong” in your heart! We found this fancy flop over at sears.com!
#8 – THE SWIMLINE WATER WHEEL by BLUE WAVE
Have you ever rolled downhill inside an old tire? Well, now you can relive that experience once again without the filthy bug-infested tire and without crashing into trees! It sort of looks like a big hamster wheel except that you put children into it! Now if there was only a way to connect a bunch of these to the power grid, we could solve all our energy problems until winter comes along… We rolled across this baby over at walmart.com
#7 – FLOATING TEXAS HOLD-EM POKER TABLE with CHAIRS
If you have a terrible gambling addiction but you still need to hit the water and cool off, this could be for you! That’s right, it’s an inflatable floating poker table.They’ve even upped the ante by including 4 blow up chairs! And from the picture, it appears there are even built-in drink holders in the table. My question would be how would you keep the cards dry with a bunch of drippy people all around the table? I suppose you could buy plastic playing cards. Anyway, If you’re ready to go all in on the “Waterpark Inflatable Mahjong Poker Table Set Floating Row Inflatable Chair Float Fun Pool Toy Outdoor Toys Adults High Quality #T1” (Yes, that’s actually the name they have it listed under) swim on over to dhgate.com. That’s where I found it!
#6 – THE CANNONBALL
If you’re looking to make a bigger splash this Summer but you’re just not fat enough, slip into one of these babies, widen your blast zone and up your cannonball game! Now what I really want is a giant cannon to shoot myself into the pool with! (Maybe in 2022). We unearthedThe Cannonball over at hearthsong.com
#5 – PIZZA SLICE
This isn’t exactly a new design, I’ve had one of these for quite a few years, but it IS a classic that never goes out of style. And if you get together with 7 of your friends and put all your slices together, YOU CAN MAKE A WHOLE PIZZA! Hey! Whatsammata you!? I found this little slice of heaven over at lesliespool.com
#4 – AVOCADO WITH REMOVABLE BEACH BALL PIT
Ok, the second I found this one, I knew it had to be on the list and definitely in the top 4! You ever notice that when someone says they placed in the top 4 of something, it almost always means they placed #4? Anyway, I have no idea why, but I love this thing! I like avocado on my burritos! I totally dig a great guacamole! And I think the thing I love the most about this avocado slice pool float is the fact that it has a removable pit that turns into a beach ball! A big, brown beach ball! Overstock.com is where I picked this beaut right off the internet tree!
#3 – SEA-SAW ROCKER
This one really grabbed my attention enough to convince me that it should be place high at #3 on the list. The reason is that instead of just sitting on top like most other floating seesaws I’ve seen, this one actually has you sit inside of it and it looks great too! So when you’re ready to sea-saw rock all night and pool party every day, head over to sunnysports.com and see if you can see what I saw in this amazing sea-saw of the sea!
#2 – POOL PUNISHER TANK
Ok… MIND BLOWN! Not only is it a tank that you commandeer around the water, but it has an actual working water cannon! How flipping cool is that!? I want one of these… AND I DON’T EVEN HAVE A POOL! So when you’re ready to wage war on the water, The Pool Punisher Inflatable Tank will help you conquer the waves, baby! When you’re ready to throw down tank style, just invade the borders over at poolpunisher.com
Which brings us to #1 (drumroll please…)
#1 – THE INFLATABULL
You ready to open the gate and go for eight!? Then steer your herd over to stupidiotic.com and rope you up an INFLATABULL! Yes, that’s right! You can hold your very own bull-riding competition right in the middle of your pool, or lake or pond, or municipal fountain… Bail bonds not included.
And there you have it! The Dandy Fun House Top Ten Pool Inflatables for Summer of 2021! Now I do have to warn you, that if you go to one of the websites I’ve mentioned here and they no longer have the blow up you’re looking for, I’ve actually seen almost all of these on a variety of different sites, so just do a web search and don’t forget to yell cowabunga while you’re jumping in head first against the rules!
And that’s gonna do it for installment 8 of the Dandy Fun House. If you haven’t already, go check out episode 7 when you get the chance and we’ll show you how to make Koolickles. AND if you’d like to support what we do here, you can find ways to contribute in the show notes or comments depending on how you’re frivolitizing with us here today, or just head over to dandyfunhouse.com where everything is always FUN AND DANDY!
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