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Have you ever wanted to mooove through time and space? Well, you’re in the right place because in this episode of the Dandy Fun House, we’re going to unbox, assemble and play and review the game… COWS IN SPACE! Let’s step into the Fun House!
Hello and welcome to the Dandy Fun House. I’m your host, Neil Dandy, and this is the place for your favorite retro pop culture, toys and games and all the fun stuff. And today we’re doing toys and games. Toys and games, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you call it? a toy with a game, a TWAG! That’s what they say in the industry, baby!
But first, I want to show you our Dandy Fun house t-shirts! They are woven from 100% heifer fur, and they’re guaranteed to keep you warm on cold nights, or at least lukewarm nights. So yeah, buy one or be square. We cut four holes in them, one to crawl your body into, two to put your arms through, and one to stick your pokey little neck out of. What do you want from me?
I’ll tell you what you want from me! You want some of the new designs at the Dandy Fun Shop, that’s right. Like LED ROBSTER, BODY BY DONUTS, and of course, SODIUM SUBSTITUTE LIFE! Just get over to the Dandy Fun Shop today!
Okay, COWS IN SPACE! Let’s take a look at it. Groovy box, baby. I’m liking this. All right, you got a couple of kids. They don’t look too young. They look kind of like preteens with grandpa over here. Grandpa looks kind of like me. What the? What’s going on with that?
I’m not sure I like that, but anyway, the front, cartoony, colorful. It’s just popping real nice. Yeah, you see the game there. It shows it, and these guys are wearing headbands with flying saucers on it, and it looks like they’re picking up cows, I assume magnetically.
And the sides are all the same. They didn’t really go hog wild on that. Nothing on the bottom. Let’s check out the back. Okay, we’ve got slimer aliens here, and they’re showing the game. “Use your magnetic UFO headband to quickly pick up cows from the spinning base.” Oh, the base spins! “It’s the best game in the universe, and out of it! The out of this world head to head race to capture as many cows as possible.”
Now, what is it with aliens and cows and crop circles? I don’t get it.
Motorized spinning base, we already know that, ages six plus… Two players… Ten plus minutes. How many rules could there possibly be to this thing? Oh, and What Do You Meme Family?
So this game, even though it doesn’t really say the manufacturer… oh, it DOES say the manufacturer! I was looking all over for it, and I just now found it, and now it’s too late for me to research the company. Usually, I like to do something about the company that makes it, and apparently the company is, it says “RELATABLE” at the bottom for the brand. Very understatable, but somehow they’re affiliated with What Do You Meme apparently, but What Do You Meme is more of an adult-oriented game, but I think there’s a family version of it as well, to the best of my knowledge.
Well, okay, we’ve had a look at the box. Let’s unbox it!
UNBOXING
I did PRE-slit the tape on it, just so I wouldn’t have to fumble with it.
And…
okay, there’s not much to see from the top there. Let’s just go ahead and do a big slide out.
Oh, and you can see pretty much everything! You slide it out and there’s nothing left in the box, so we’ll just go ahead and lose the box. And this is what we’ve got. We’ve got the game itself, and you got the parts of the magnetic headband. You got the UFOs here. This looks like it’s going to be real simple. This might be a short review today. A “Cows in Space” instruction booklet. How many instructions could there possibly be? We’ll look at these if we have to. I’m thinking we don’t have to. I think this thing’s pretty self-explanatory.
You got a bunch of cows in these little bags here, spotted on the top, pink on the bottom. Looks like you got seven in each bag, three bags, that’s 21 cows. And then we have a barn in a bag which apparently clicks right into the middle of the game field. Now I’ll probably never get the box closed again. Thank you very much. Oh, and the headbands! That means I’m going to have to take off my cool cow hat.
It does look like the headbands are adjustable. And I guess I really only need one headband. There’s a little notch here, and you just kind of put your flying saucer link in there and kind of shove it down there. And then you adjust your headband and strap it on. It’s a plastic headband. It’s not stretchy or spongy, but that’s good because if it were stretchy, it’d be made out of fabric. And then you’d have everyone’s sweat building up in the fabric, and you’d have to wash it. Since this is plastic, you can just wipe it off and you’re good. So I guess I’ve got to lose the cow hat on my head so I can play this thing. THIS ladies and gentlemen, is why I make the big bucks.
Oh, that–oh, wow. That most certainly is uncomfortable. The notch where you attach your springy-springy for the UFO? That digs into your head! And it’s obviously made to curl in this way, so that side’s supposed to be on your head. I’m going to opt for turning this thing around because I don’t think they thought that through very well. I’m going to go in reverse on this headband otherwise, that protrusion is going to dig into my forehead and leave a square dent.
All right, how’s this? This is why I do this show. Okay, I need a couple of batteries for this game. My understanding is that this takes two AA batteries, and of course, they put a screw over the battery compartment. Why? Why make this difficult? You could just have a little finger release on there. But fortunately, I have a Leatherman tool right here on my person.
I guess the object is to collect more cows than your opponent. And there are some different rules in the rulebook of different ways to play from the little tiny bit of research I did. And these two batteries should be enough to power it for at least a little bit for me to do this review.
Oh, the barn is an on-off switch!
Well ok! We’re ready to put some cows in our field and see if we can abduct them with our UFO! I don’t really like the term UFO. It’s a pet peeve, and I’ve talked about it on this show before, but… UFO doesn’t really mean an alien spacecraft. It just means that it’s a flying object that hasn’t been identified. Is it time for me to rethink my life choices?
Well, without further ado, I believe these cows are ready for abduction. So let’s play some COWS IN SPACE!
GAME PLAY
One cow abducted.
(…)
Two cows abducted. I guess it’s a lot harder when you’ve got another person fighting for cows against you.
(…)
But yeah, this is super easy.
(…)
Maybe a little too easy.
But it’s just so absolutely absurd, though.
This is like the stuff I live for.
(Cows Mooing)
All right, I’m going to keep going until I’ve got all these cows.
And then I’m going to let you know my final thoughts.
And I’ve got all 21 cows. Look at this.(…) All right, let’s do the wrap up here.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON COWS IN SPACE
Okay, COWS IN SPACE. What do I like about this game? What do I not like about this game? Let’s start with what I like about the game. It’s just ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous! Who could not love this thing? I mean, if this isn’t entertainment, I don’t know what is. I love the fun graphics all over the box. I love the whole cow abduction thing. This is just a whole lot of fun.
What do I not like about the game? Well, I don’t like the fact that I have to turn the headband inside out in order to use it. You naturally want to put it on with the natural curvature, but I had to put it on in reverse because the thing that you put your sproingy doingy for the UFOs would otherwise dig into the middle of my head. Also, I would have liked for it to have been a little more prominent as to who makes it. I did look on the box and it’s just so understated. I overlooked it and I would have loved to have found out more about this company.
But I’ll tell you what, you want to have a good goofy time? Get yourself some COWS IN SPACE! And watch your step!
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By the way, if you like what we do here and you want to help me buy more stupid games like this, maybe I’ll do COWNADO next. Maybe I’ll do a whole cow theme! Maybe every game I review this year will be cow themed.
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All right. I’m going to play more COWS IN SPACE and we’re going to hit the outro right here at the Dandy Fun House where everything is always FUN AND DANDY!
